Operation CIO

I have a confession. . .

Up until last night we have been (gasp) still swaddling and rocking Maddy to sleep.

I know!

But had been working. She was sleeping through the night and napping for long periods. I was under the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" mentality. I always knew something would have to change. I couldn't possibly swaddle her forever (could I?).

Recently I had become resentful of naptime/bedtime routine. I felt I was doing a disservice to her, at now 10 months old, by not teaching her to sleep on her own. I was somehow always waiting for the right time. Last night was it. I had been psyching myself up for it for weeks. I knew she'd cry. She's always been passionate and stubborn. I was ready for hours of crying/screaming. I knew the first night would be the hardest. But that baby threw me for a loop.

DH and I did our normal bedtime routine of a bottle, a bath, a story and a song. The only things we changed were the duration of the rocking and, oh yeah, she wasn't swaddled. I did however have her in a sleep sack. I wanted to give her some kind of extra signal it was time to sleep and I figured still putting her in something would help. I rocked her for the bedtime song only, gave her a kiss and laid her down. I then started the song again (it runs about 5 minutes) and left the room.

The screaming started immediately (with cries of "mamamamamama" as an added bonus). No surprise there. The surprise came when I checked the video monitor and saw her STANDING in her crib!! Never in her life has she been able to go from laying to standing (sitting to standing, yes). She was in a sleep sack and still managed it! Well now I was stumped. I wasn't sure if I should go lay her back down or ignore it.

After 10 minutes I went in and laid her down without even making eye contact. She immediately stood up and screamed.

I waited 20 more minutes and tried to lay her down again. She immediately stood up and screamed.

I was extremely frustrated, agitated, nervous and upset by this point. Why the hell was she standing?! This was not part of the plan. The whole reason I started it now was because I thought she couldn't stand yet.

I decided not to go back in. I wasn't going to get caught playing the standing game all night. I knew she could get down from standing because at one point I watched her sit down, get her paci, and then stand back up. Luckily DH was very supportive and on board. He said she had his stubborn streak and that I should go to bed and he'd wait her out. There was no way I could sleep though. I had to see it through.

TWO HOURS later she was still screaming, still standing, and totally exhausted. She would lay her head on the rail and rub her eyes. It was the saddest thing I ever saw. At one point I thought she was going to fall asleep standing up. I couldn't take it any longer. I went to bed and left poor DH to deal with it.

He came in 20 minutes after I went to bed and told me she was finally asleep. He couldn't take it. He decided to lay her down one more time and put her paci back in. He was in and out. She immediately fell asleep and slept straight through 'til 7 this morning.

I think she was too wiped out to even sit down. She was stuck standing. Poor little crazy baby.

Here's how it's gone so far:

Night One- Cried for 2 hours and 20 minutes (slept through the night)

Morning Nap-No crying, no standing, fell asleep after 20 minutes (very short nap)

Mid Morning Nap (needed because the first one was so short)-Crying, screaming, standing. I went in after 40 minutes and laid her down. She then fell right to sleep.(long nap)

We'll see what the next few days have in store for us. . .