Sunday, March 28, 2010

My Big Girl (well, not really)

Will somebody feed me please!

I mean it people. I need to grow!

Next weekend Maddy will turn seven months! That is starting to sound really old. She'll be a seven month old trapped in a four month old's body (and I'm being generous with four months).

She is

Everybody says that she looks so cute, like a little doll with her blond hair, blue eyes, and teeny tiny body.

I was a bit discouraged after her six month appt and worried that my milk supply was not keeping up. I started taking fenugreek (finally- not sure why I didn't start this sooner) and pumping three times a day when not at work to try to supplement her feedings. She doesn't feed very long at all. She gets so distracted even when I go into another, quieter room. I'm not sure if this is from her reflux, her developmental curiousity, or she just isn't that interested in nursing anymore. This behavior I suspect is hurting my supply. It's like a slippery slope.

She doesn't seem hungry all the time. If nothing else is bothering her like gas pains or reflux, she can easily go 9 to 10 hours without eating at night. She eats a good amount of solid food now too. If it were all my lack of supply, you'd think she'd start gaining once on solids. This doesn't seem to be the case. I think she's growing long, just not fat. Her arms are like little spaghetti noodles.

She's meeting all her milestones and is full of energy, so I am not too concerned. It just get so hard to hear people remark how small she is all the time. I feel guilty and responsible because I am still her main source of nutrition. I've given thought to supplementing with formula, but she has so many issues with reflux and her digestive system struggles with anything other than breastmilk. I'd be afraid this would mess with her uneccessarily. I do want to start weaning her this summer. My goal is to go nine months. I don't think we'll make it a year. I don't think I have it in me much longer. So she will be on formula eventually. I'm hoping by then her system will have time to mature. I'm assuming she will be at the bottom of the growth scale at our nine month appt.

I am starting my research now. How many of you supplement or rely on formula for feedings? What kind do you use? Maddy's is very sensitive and gets constipated easily and suffers from reflux still. Any suggestions for a formula? Help!

Thursday, March 25, 2010


Yesterday morning was so nice.

Maddy woke up early at six for some reason. I know it wasn't hunger. I've stopped trying to guess anymore. I let her work it out herself, going in to check on her now and then, until seven when I changed and fed her. She was still so tired.

DH had just gotten up for work so Maddy and I went and laid down in bed while he got ready. I was thinking to myself how nice it would be if she'd just take a nap right there with me. That girl never sleeps anywhere but her crib.

She sat there and watched her dad until he left. Then I laid her on her side and laid next to her. She just stroked my face and smiled as she sucked her paci. Finally she nuzzled into my neck and fell asleep. She slept that way with me for almost an hour and a half. I wish I could have slept too, but I am not used to co-sleeping so I just laid there and enjoyed.

Sleep does not come easy for her. She has trouble shutting down. She hasn't even fell asleep in the car for months. Although just the other day she slept on the way home from my parents. That was rare for her too. And last night she slept ten hours straight. We only had to go in once and stick a paci in. Maybe this sleep thing will get easier for her someday. Or is that just wishful thinking?

In the meantime, I'll take my sleepy snuggles when I can get them.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Sping Has Sprung!

I've been swamped with conference and report cards at work. I have not got to read, blog and comment as much as I'd like. Thankfully it is all over and the weather has been so nice this week. I have many updates to post soon, but first I'll leave this picture* as proof of our nice weather.

(*I tried to crop out my horrific profile. Sorry I couldn't figure it out on this computer. )

Thursday, March 11, 2010


And I'm not talking about milk.

It's Maddy's new spot on the growth chart (at least weight wise).

At this rate, she'll waste away to nothing soon.

Sorry baby.

I felt like I fed her all day yesterday. She had early morning milk. Then she ate milk, oatmeal and squash for breakfast, milk and sweet potato for lunch, milk and avocado for a mid afternoon snack, and milk and oatmeal for dinner. This was all followed by breast milk before bed and an 11:00 bottle by dad to top her off for the night.

This was the most she has eaten in a day.

She better start gaining soon.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Sunday, March 7, 2010


DH teases me for having "monsters" in my life.

It all started when we (DH) were driving on a foggy interstate on our way to Disneyland one year. This stretch of highway gets socked in with fog. It was getting late and the fog was getting thicker and thicker. Nothing makes me more nervous than driving and not being able to see more than a foot in front of you. It is a helpless feeling and you are totally stuck. You are screwed if you pull over and possibly screwed if you keep driving. I got so stressed on this particular trip that I freaked out and threw a blanket over my head like a little kid. DH accused me of being afraid of the "Fog Monster."

From then on any thing that bothers, annoys, scares me or throws off my life has been referred to by him as my monsters. Since the Fog Monster, I have had Gas Truck Monsters (I hate driving next to those things on the road), Food Poisoning Monster (you should see the precautions I take cooking chicken), and Turkey Monsters (I hate those ugly birds that populate our neighborhood) to name a few.

I've found my daughter has monsters too.

These are the things that throw her life off and annoy her to the point of interfering with her overall happiness.

I'm afraid her monsters have become my monsters:

The Acid Reflux Monster- The biggest of them all.

The Poo Monster- Constipation and gas

The Teething Monster- We're not sure if this one really exists. We have yet to see this one. He comes and goes.

The Coffee Grinder Monster- Her newest addition. It is the first time DH has ever seen her get scared and cry. This one lives at my MIL's house.

She is so darn aware of EVERYTHING. I don't think there's an easy-going bone in this girl's body. She is concerned about everything around (and inside) her.

DH says that reminds him of someone.

I have no idea who he's talking about. . .

What monsters are out from under your bed?

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Six Months

It's my baby's first 1/2 birthday. (Half birthdays are something my first graders love to point out.)


It seems to have flown by and yet it feels like it has taken forever to get here.

She's trying really hard to sit up on her own. She can balance for a few minutes before she folds over in half and then topples to the floor. If shes' sitting in her bouncy chair on an incline, she does a little sit-up until she is in the upright sitting position. She holds onto the sides to keep herself up. It is so funny to look over and see her sitting there and looking all around.

She is becoming more like a little person. She makes her likes and dislikes known. After her final late afternoon nap, we count the minutes to her bedtime. She spends most of that time cranky. We find it is a nice time of night to run an errand or go out to dinner. She does a lot better when she is distracted. If she's not, she makes a constant whining sound almost all evening. It's not a cry, but it gets annoying just the same. As long as it's not a colicky scream like it used to be, I'm fine.

My MIL found out that she loves it when you blow gently in her face. She smiles great big when the breeze hits her face. She laughs when you kiss the back of her neck or her thighs (if she's in a good mood of course). She's in love with our dog. Any floor time is spent watching and reaching for him. Our dog also loves to kiss her. I don't love this so much, but Maddy does. She opens her mouth real wide for them. Gross!

We tried sweet potatoes today. I can only imagine how much those will screw up her bowels. Her anal fissures seemed to have healed. So far the only bleeding episode we had was that one day. I forgot to note her weight at the appt last week. She had gained another single pound in a month and a half (12 lbs 12 oz) and had moved down to the 5%. At least she's gaining, just slowly. We'll see how long she is at the appt next week. More shots at that one. She's old enough for the flu shots (seasonal and h1n1) but I'm not sure we are going to do them. If it was fall with the whole flu season ahead of us, I might consider it more. We'll see. . .

I can't believe in another six months we'll be celebrating her first birthday!

Now that will be a milestone.