Now I see why they tell you to never use formula when you are trying to establish your supply in the beginning of breastfeeding.
I am drying up as fast as the Sahara desert.
It started off with two bottles of formula a day- one mid morning and one before bed. The only time she BF any substantial amount was early morning. The rest of the day she would only nurse a few seconds and then push my boob away with a disgusted look right as I let down. Not fun. She'd then take a bottle of pumped milk instead. Finally she began to reject the breast even for her first morning feeding. So I started using more formula and I started pumping less because I was so NOT motivated. It was a slippery slope and soon I was only pumping three times a day and getting an ounce or two total each time. Without her actually sucking, my well is running dry.
My baby weaned herself. She doesn't want to BF anymore. :( I have mixed feelings. In one sense it's freeing, in another it is an end of an era, and a big pain in the ass because now the only way she's going to get breastmilk is if I pump.
Here's my new plan. I'll pump three times a day and give her whatever milk I can from this until there is no milk left or until we reach 11 months, whichever comes first. My bet is on drying up first. This plan will be hard to stick with. I honestly am not sure how long I'll continue. We'll see. . .
Part of me wants to just throw in the towel.
Is that bad?
Not bad at all. If she is done, she is done. No need to torture yourself! Besides, pumping is impossible with an active baby!
ReplyDeleteI agree w/Mandy, not bad at all. Look how far you have already come... just the fact you tried is awesome in my book. Then to make it this long is icing on the cake. Pumping is so hard, once I went back to work (I'm a teacher, like I could really pump for half an hour every three hours... ha), I nursed and pumped at home, but it dried up fast. She doesn't care and gets just as excited when I sit down to give her a bottle. You've done great, congrats and don't be hard on yourself!
ReplyDeleteThat isn't bad at all. You are awesome! You breastfed for over 9 months and you are even trying to pump stil! I lasted 2 months with my first and then when she refused I pumped for a month before switching over to a bottle. She acted completely disgusted by my breastmilk. So I know the feeling.
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