It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. . .

That's the song that goes through my sarcastic mind every year while I am circling a crowded parking lot, standing in a never-ending line, or any other undesirable holiday undertaking. It's also the diddy that I heard during the last three day holiday dinner marathon.

To focus on the positive, it was a great first Christmas with our daughter. Yesterday marked one year since we found out we were pregnant after years of infertility. She got completely spoiled by her relatives. Her gifts by far outnumbered every one's. That's what happens when you're the first grandchild on both sides. She is so lucky to be so loved.

There's nothing quite like the holidays however to bring out loads of unsolicited parenting advice and critiques. Here are some of the comments we heard during Christmas eve, Christmas day, and the day after Christmas (yes, one more holiday dinner for DH's dad) and my silent-never-said-aloud-rebuttals:

1) "Are her eyes open? Don't go get her unless her eyes are open? Why are you going to go get her already? She's not crying." (said by multiple relatives in response to her waking up from a nap)

I wasn't going to get her just yet, but I can guarantee that she won't fall back to sleep after she has kicked out of her swaddle and is overdue for a feeding.

2) "Do you want him to comb his hair too?" (said by my FIL after asking if my BIL had washed his hands before holding my daughter)

No you big jerk! I don't want him to comb his hair too. I just want him to wash off his germy grime before touching her hands which go straight in her three month old mouth. And I would have appreciated if you would have washed yours before taking your finger and encircling her mouth while making strange noises in an attempt to play with her. Damn people! Keep your hands away from her face.

3) "When are you going to just put her down and let her cry?" (said while she was heard crying when my husband was trying to rock her to sleep)

The most annoying question of all. It is one I've asked myself and something I am considering doing soon. She is not quite four months yet and I don't feel comfortable doing it any sooner
than that. Oh, and by the way she won't just cry, she'll scream bloody murder and it's Christmas and I just don't want to hear it. So mind your own f-ing business people.

There were more, so many more I can't even remember. Relatives who never before got on my nerves suddenly do now that my child is involved. I'm so tired of ass-vice I could scream.

It bothers me the most when people think I am being paranoid about my daughter. I have been very proud of myself since I've become a mother. I use a burp cloth that falls on the floor. I don't wash her toys every day. I simply rinse of a paci that has fallen on the floor. I let my dog lick her. (This one was hard for me, but almost impossible to avoid.) I didn't freak out when I say a pink spot in her morning urine-soaked diaper. (I did call to be sure and found out it's concentrated urine from her going so long overnight without a feeding). Anyone who knows me or has even followed my other blog will know I am a worry wort. So I am very pleased with how I've responded to motherhood. Therefore it makes me so mad when people insinuate that I am being overprotective or too doting.

I'm sure this is just the beginning of everyone giving me their opinions. When someone questions your parenting it is insulting. I never knew just how much until I stand here on the other side. It's a totally new perspective for me.

I am so looking forward to our New Year's Day dinner with DH's family. . .