As I was wrapping Maddy's gifts last night while she was sleeping, I wrote on a tag:
To: Madelyn
From: Mommy and Daddy
We love you so much!
And then it hit me, as it has so many times in the past.
I am a mom.
There is a tiny human toddling around our home. A little girl who demands the tree, garland and village lights be turned on every morning. A little girl who will soon be spoiled with too many gifts from family. A little girl I never thought would be a part of our lives.
It is so easy to get swept up in the day to day hustle and bustle of motherhood. Then out of nowhere it hits me like a ton of bricks. I stop in my tracks and take it all in. She is here. All those struggles with infertility and in spite of it all, she is here.
Just the other day it happened when I tripped over a toy. I bent down to pick it up and then stared in amazement. There are baby toys in my house. I have a baby. Or when I'm folding her laundry, or packing a diaper bag, or watching the back of her head as she walks to the door. These moments take my breath away.
Does it sound strange to still be shocked you're a mother 15 months after the birth of your child? I wonder if it will every end.
I kind of hope it doesn't.
In 16 days, she will be 3. My baby girl is going to be 3 and I still have those moments. Just the other night, she crawled up in my lap and poked her elbows, knees, and fingers all over me and when she was finally settled, I just looked at her in awe as I thought about how there were so many months I never thought I would have her.
ReplyDeleteI feel the EXACT same way!!!
ReplyDeleteI feel like that too! I love the little diapers and bibs etc. I love to see the tiny new toothbrush in the bathroom and love to find her toys everywhere. I will never forget these days! I still look at my 11 year old and feel goosebumps, that this beautiful tween is my little girl!!
ReplyDeleteThis is EXACTLY how I feel. Toys in my bathtub does it to me every time.
ReplyDelete