As I was wrapping Maddy's gifts last night while she was sleeping, I wrote on a tag:
From: Mommy and Daddy
We love you so much!
And then it hit me, as it has so many times in the past.
I am a mom.
There is a tiny human toddling around our home. A little girl who demands the tree, garland and village lights be turned on every morning. A little girl who will soon be spoiled with too many gifts from family. A little girl I never thought would be a part of our lives.
It is so easy to get swept up in the day to day hustle and bustle of motherhood. Then out of nowhere it hits me like a ton of bricks. I stop in my tracks and take it all in. She is here. All those struggles with infertility and in spite of it all, she is here.
Just the other day it happened when I tripped over a toy. I bent down to pick it up and then stared in amazement. There are baby toys in my house. I have a baby. Or when I'm folding her laundry, or packing a diaper bag, or watching the back of her head as she walks to the door. These moments take my breath away.
Does it sound strange to still be shocked you're a mother 15 months after the birth of your child? I wonder if it will every end.
I kind of hope it doesn't.