It Never Gets Old

As I was wrapping Maddy's gifts last night while she was sleeping, I wrote on a tag:

To: Madelyn

From:  Mommy and Daddy
           We love you so much!

And then it hit me, as it has so many times in the past. 

I am a mom. 

There is a tiny human toddling around our home.  A little girl who demands the tree, garland and village lights be turned on every morning.  A little girl who will soon be spoiled with too many gifts from family.  A little girl I never thought would be a part of our lives.

It is so easy to get swept up in the day to day hustle and bustle of motherhood.  Then out of nowhere it hits me like a ton of bricks.  I stop in my tracks and take it all in.  She is here.  All those struggles with infertility and in spite of it all, she is here. 

Just the other day it happened when I tripped over a toy.  I bent down to pick it up and then stared in amazement.  There are baby toys in my house.  I have a baby.  Or when I'm folding her laundry, or packing a diaper bag, or watching the back of her head as she walks to the door.  These moments take my breath away.

Does it sound strange to still be shocked you're a mother 15 months after the birth of your child?  I wonder if it will every end. 

I kind of hope it doesn't.

Another Boring Post

A week before Thanksgiving we took Maddy to Disneyland.  I must say I had pretty low expectations taking a 14 month old.  I wasn't sure how long she'd last in the park, how napping would go, how she'd do in lines, etc.  I love my baby but she is not the easiest going.  I'm happy to say, we had a FANTASTIC time!  It was so much fun!  She was such a trooper on all the rides.  We took the poor thing on Haunted Mansion first.  She did well. She just buried her head in my neck when she was scared.  Then she'd look around a bit and bury her head again.  And what is with the Fantasyland rides being so scary?  There are barely any totally upbeat rides there.  I didn't realize it until I took a child there.  She loved "It's a Small World" the best.  She was clapping her hands at all the "dancing babies."  DH and I loved going to Disneyland just the two of us and it was even better with our daughter. 

Somewhere in between my last post and now she started walking.  It started slow and then one day she just decided she didn't need to crawl anymore.  She is such a tiny thing still.  She looks like a little doll walking around.  She had her 15 month appt last week and she finally made the 20 pound mark (exactly).  We are going to finally buy a "big-girl" carseat for her.  I have one all picked out that rear faces until 35 pounds.  So Maddy can rear face until Kindergarten at this rate and forward face until high school. 

She was a hot mess last week as her teeth as coming fast and furious.  We've got 6 teeth out and three molars partially broken through.  Plus countless others right below the surface.  That on top of getting a fever and rash from the MMR vaccine at her appt and it was not a good week.  She is finally feeling better.  Poor thing.

Still not a lot of words!  Everything is mama.  She points to everything and looks at me and says "mama?"  Then I tell her the name of it and she smiles and moves on the next thing.  The doctor was not concerned.  He just asked me if she understands language.  And she does.  She understands everything, almost to the point that DH and I might have to start spelling certain things so she doesn't get distracted or excited about something. 

I love her so much.  She is so much fun.  She has such a fiery, passionate personality and keeps us on our toes, but I can't imagine her any other way.  She is joy. 

Merry Christmas!