A Record

My baby is setting a personal record. Probably not a good one.

She has not pooed in over three days.

Thank you very much rice cereal.

I asked her doctor about switching to oatmeal (thanks for the tip Shannon). He suggested we try that but said all cereals can be binding. He did not seem concerned because she was breastfed and said those babies can go a long time between bowel movements. Well, she is not exclusively breastfed anymore and she has never gone this long before. Before starting solids she would go 2-3 times a day. He said to wait for her to go and if her stool is hard then he'd have other suggestions for us. We started to oatmeal last night, if she doesn't poo by tomorrow, I'm calling the doctor back. This just isn't normal for her.

Okay, let's switch gears. I've been meaning to blog about going back to work part time. . .

This was my second week back to teaching. I am lucky enough to be doing a job share 50% of the time with another teacher. We share a class. She filled in full time for me until I got back. So when I walked in the room last week for my first day, they treated me like a substitute. I hate being treated like a substitute. I never liked subbing anyway and I think I only did it one day during my student teaching placement. It felt strange to be in my old classroom, teaching the grade I have for seven years, and to have 20 kids telling me how I am not doing it the "right way". "Mrs. So and So does it this way." "That's not the way Mrs. So and So does it." "Mrs. So and So let's us do this." Ugh! I was trying to be so nice because it was the first day after all. I didn't want to send them home crying, but give me a flipping break! This week I was able to crack down on them a little more. Their behavior has been horrible with me. In time I'm sure they'll learn what they can get away with with me versus their other teacher. I knew it would be this way this year. I just have to let some of my control issues go. Easier said than done. . .

Then there is the whole juggling mommyhood and work. I am very lucky that my husband is able to work from home on the days I go in. Poor guy. Talk about juggling, I don't know how he does it- taking care of Maddy and working. Thank goodness she naps now (anywhere from one to two hours two or three times a day) or he would not be able to do it. It is soooo much easier for me to go to work knowing he is the one home with her. I honestly don't worry at all. I am able to focus on work and I don't feel guilty. We are hoping his job will let him continue this arrangement until June when I'm off. If not I think we have enough family members who are able to chip in to get us by until then. We will have to look at a more long-term solution in August when school starts again.

Probably the most annoying thing about going back to work is pumping. I hate pumping. I am not very good at it and only get 3-5 oz total in 10-15 minutes, and that's in a morning pump. If I pump in the afternoon it is so pathetic, I feel like it was a big waste of time. On the days I work I pump in the morning when I get up. I usually feed her once before I leave. I have to pump at lunch and sometimes before I leave (it is late) or when I get home. My pumps are better on the days I work because I go so much longer between feeds. I think we can get by with my production. I was worried we'd have to switch to formula if I wasn't able to keep up. With all her issues, I'd prefer not to have to introduce formula for as long as possible. If I had to go back full time, it would be a different story.

Pumping at work sucks! We have a 45 minute lunch period. At 11:28 exactly I walk my class to the lunchroom, then race back to my classroom. I pull the drapes shut and lock the door. Then I sit and pump for 10 minutes and hope the janitor doesn't decide to come in. Oh the horror! By the time I clean up my supplies and get down the the staff room to eat it is noon and I only have 15 minutes to eat, go to the bathroom and call my DH for an update. So much for a break. I used to love my lunch break. Sigh. . . my days of leisurely eating ended long ago.

I keep telling myself I am doing what is best for my daughter. I am amazed I was able to keep her nourished with my body alone for four months (actually 13 months if you count pregnancy). But breastfeeding is a sacrifice. I can't eat spicy, gassy, acidic foods anymore or it bothers her reflux. Gone is my beloved Mexican food and pizza. I watch my formula feeding friends go away for the weekend and leave their four month old daughter with her grandparents. I don't produce enough milk to store to even consider that. I hear stories of how soon they all slept through the night. Their babies are plump and my baby is skinny. I worry I don't have enough milk for her anymore, even though I'm sure that's not true. That was my biggest worry in the beginning but I started to feel confident as she began packing on the pounds. With her slow weight gain now, I worry again. It is such a feeling of responsibility to know that you are the only one able to nourish her. It is a proud feeling, but it can be overwhelming at times.

I have sure spewed a lot of random thoughts on this post.

I better go change her diaper.

Let's hope for a dirty one!