Testing. . .Testing. . .1,2,3

Is anyone there?. . .

Probably not.

But I am!  

Even though it has been over a year since my last post, I am still here reading all the blogs on my roll.  But in a silent, stalker-type way.  A here and there, never commenting kind of way.  Here comes the whiny excuses- It's too hard to comment from my iphone!  Nobody cares about my boring day to day existence! I'm too lazy to figure out the new blogger format!  I have no time with a two-almost-three year old!  Yadda, yadda, yadda. . . Enough excuses.  Here I go. . .

Let's start with Maddy.  Love her more every day and I'm not just saying that.  I knew I was never a fan of the baby stage and boy was that ever the case with my colicky one.  Babies were always a means to an end, something I had to get through until it got good.  I'm not saying I didn't have my moments with her, but it was not an easy road.   Now, toddler hood?  Amazing!  Are there tantrums?  Yes!  Is she stubborn?  Yes!  Is she a master manipulator? Yes!  Does she put her arm around me and call me her best friend, tell me everyday how much she loves me, engage in the most delightful conversations, and make me laugh multiple times every single day?  Yes, yes, yes, and yes! (Was that enough yeses?)

Also, it helps that I am a teacher of young children.  She is only two years and two months away from being a five year old (Holy hell!  Did I just write that?) and I am experts on them, and six and seven year olds too.  Bring it on!

Having the summers off means lots of time home with Maddy.  Lots and lots of time!  Like what are we going to do all the days of the week time.  Yet this feels like my fastest summer yet.  Probably because I started it off with potty training.  Did it cold turkey style.  We are going on three weeks days and nights diaper free.  So scary, but so glad to be tackling it and eager to get it behind me.  She's doing terrific!   Way, way better than I ever imagined.  Nights are still a little rough, but I guess that's to be expected.  I still get paranoid leaving the house but I bring enough changes of clothes to stay a week for a trip to the grocery store.  She has to be pretty desperate to use a public restroom (hey-me too!) but she will do it eventually so that is good. 

She still loves the water and going out on her "Papa's" boat.  She wanted to wake board just like her mom and dad and couldn't understand why she couldn't.  DH went out there with her and we slowly idled and pulled her sitting on top of the wake board.  This was clearly not enough for her and she knew we were half-assing it.  Sometimes my cautious little one can be such a daredevil.  She still won't go one step without holding on, but she wants to ski and wake board like everyone else.  Who knew? She keeps me on my toes.

Oh and one other hurdle on her way to a big girl I'm dreading.  The pacifier!!!  She still uses it for nights and naps.  I am really not looking forward to taking those away in the near future.  I don't think she'll sleep again.  Paci fairy?  Does that even work? 

We are here.  Most days you can find me playing doctor, restaurant, Calli.ou (yes, she plays Calli.ou- like the show- it's horrible), and dress up.  This is my life now.  I love it!

Pictures anyone?

Water Baby

Or Water Toddler?

Either way Miss Maddy LOVES the water. She loved the water last summer too but wasn't able to fully interact with it as much as she gets to this summer.

This week, I took her to the pool for the first time this season.  She wanted to dive out of my arms and just freely explore the water.  Hard to do when you are only two and a half feet and the water is over four.  So she was forced to explore while in the confines of my arms.  That didn't stop her from kicking, paddling her arms and sticking her face in the water, laughing and squealing the entire time.

Then yesterday we went to a park with a water feature; tunnels full of spray, fountains erupting out of the ground, puddles to splash and play in.  She was in heaven!  She braved the tunnel spray and stuck her face in the middle of the fountains.

My normally reserved-in-public-but-a-complete-drama-queen-at-home little girl was so outgoing, confident and not afraid of what others think.  (Something she has been going through.)  She can be very sensitive and self conscious already.  Give her some water to play with and she comes alive.

Finally her dad has someone to swim with.

He will be thrilled.

Two Posts in One Day (This One Has Pictures)!

As you can see, she looks nothing like me and everything like her daddy.  Luckily it works!

19 Months

Maddy is such a little girl now.   I must do a picture post.  She has grown and changed like crazy.

Speaking of growing. . .She is a whopping 22 lbs 10 oz which moves her up to the. . .22%!  Whoa!  That's big for a little girl who has been stuck in the single digit percentile since she was four months old.  Her hair is growing too.  It is at quite an awkward stage now.  Long, straight hair from birth mixed in with shorter ringlet curls from new growth.  It is constantly in her eyes but at least she keeps clips and bows in her hair now so that helps. Not sure what to do with it.  I do think it needs  a trim at least though.  I had a friend cut it once when she was 10 months old and it was really short with bangs.  I want to grow it all the same length and my friend is pretty busy these days.  I think I need to bite the bullet and take her to a kid's cut type place.  Not sure if she'll sit still that long . . .

She is turning out to be a very sensitive, thoughtful, cautious, caring, spunky and energetic toddler.  All these traits rolled into one.  Makes for some very interesting moments.  If I attempt to discipline her at home she tests me and smiles and thinks it's great fun.  When I told her not to touch a friends eye at dinner out one night (and by told I mean I looked at her and shook my head, gestured and said, "No Madelyn. Please don't touch people's eyes."), I looked over a few seconds later to find her face crumpling and a big pouty lip forming.  The saddest part was she was trying to be brave and hide the fact that she was so upset.  Then pretty soon she couldn't control it anymore and started crying.  This kind of reaction has happened a handful of times recently.  She gets her feelings hurt and embarrassed easily.  Growing up is hard work!

She is not a big talker.  I have heard her say about 15-20 different words but she only uses about 5 or six consistently at one time.  She'd much rather sit (or run around) and take everything in.  She grabs my hand and drags me around the house to what she needs.  So she'd much rather communicate with gestures for now.  She is very verbal and constantly "talking."  Just not a lot of English yet.  The pedi was not concerned as long as she understood everything, which she does.  It is hard because I can't wait to converse with her and communicate through language.  I long to bond with her that way.  It is hard to not compare her to others her age.  I know she will get there.  Someday. . .

Otherwise she is, dancing, stacking, "reading", eating with a fork and spoon, hugging, kissing, laughing, kicking, throwing balls, throwing tantrums, climbing on the couch, sliding down slides at the playground, teething and being an absolute joy.  So much work, but so much joy.  I much prefer the toddler stage and all its challenges to the infant stage.  I have a tiny playmate now.  We go to the park together, go for walks together, go get ice cream together.  It is so much fun now!  And I think it is only going to get better. . .

That was a first. . .

Probably not the last. . .

And that's not a good thing.

Maddy had her first true meltdown temper tantrum in public today.  We had just finished a nice shopping trip to Old Navy and were in a book store where I was trying to use my gift card.  I let her out of her stroller to walk around because she was getting restless.  She had one of her dolls with her and was holding it while looking at the shelves of books.  Then some lady comes over and shows her a stuffed bear in her bag.  Great.  Maddy loves nothing more than stuffed animals.  She gets all giddy and excited.  Then of course, the lady has to go.  She waves bye and walks off.  Maddy starts the waterworks, back arching, hitting, kicking, etc.  It doesn't last long ( a few seconds really) and I get her distracted. 

The fit of all fits came when I had to put a book back on the shelf that she had removed.  All hell broke loose.  The screaming.  OMG! The screaming!  That girl can be so loud. I realize at this point, I will not be getting a book today.   I'm trying to carry her with one arm and push the stroller with the other.  People are staring and I am laughing.  I didn't know what else to do.  It was a pretty ridiculous sight.  It took all my strength just to hang on to her. 

We finally get to the car and then I had to wrestle her into the straps on the car seat.  She is thrashing about and screaming.  Surprisingly I stayed calm.  I guess that's what 12 years as an elementary school teacher gets you.  She'd get one arm free, I'd try again.  Over and over in what felt like an eternity although was probably more like five minutes.  I finally get her strapped in and it's when I'm putting her stroller in the car I loose it.  I felt like crying myself.  Bad, bad flashbacks of her colic days. 

Sure we've had fussing and some crying before, but nothing like this at home or out.   It was a perfect storm scenario for sure. We have just started one nap a day for the past week.  Usually around 11:30.  That's been hard enough for her. Now one of her eye teeth is coming in.  Teething equals no sleep for Maddy.  She was pretty restless last night.   So we had a grumpy, teething, sleep deprived baby who got something taken from her and threw a major fit. 

On a different note.  I got my IUD yesterday.  I was dreading the insertion.  I don't know what I was worried about.  It didn't hurt anymore than a pap smear and hardly any cramping.   I guess it takes a few months to see lighter periods.  Can't wait!

IUD?

Yesterday I went to my gyno.  I haven't seen him since six weeks after Maddy was born. My periods have come like clockwork once a month since April but they have been SO heavy.  Like wake up in a puddle of blood and gushing every time I stand up heavy.  I am pretty much out of commission for a 24 hour period when AF is in town.  Luckily the heavy days have never been when I'm working or I don't know what I'd do.  It got to the point I couldn't take it anymore.

I had a feeling what he would say.  I had a similar problem when I was 18 and it got so bad I needed a D&C and then was put on birth control pills.  BCP arent' really an option for me anymore with my high blood pressure.  That leaves an IUD to regulate my hormones.

The only problem with an IUD- it is also great birth control.  DH and I are not going to go through another IVF cycle to have children.  We are very aware this means we will only have one child.  Poor DH however holds out hope that we will miraculously conceive one month.  The odds of that are slim to none.  I know it and he knows it.  But he can still fantasize and hope that one little swimmer will make it.

Going on birth control however, puts the nail on the coffin.  It says I am totally giving up on having another child (at least a spontaneously occurring one).  I know I could always remove it and try IVF again if I really wanted to. 

If DH didn't want another this would make things so much easier.  It's ironic considering how indifferent he was to children before.  If we had one fine, if we didn't fine (before our IF diagnosis of course).  Now he would take a houseful and I'm the one who's done.

So I am feeling guilty for needing to use birth control.  He's not making me feel this way but I am.  It is so silly considering just how infertile we are.  Like we don't already have effective birth control now with IF.  Why not seal the deal and have lighter periods too?

Why am I making this so hard?

It Never Gets Old

As I was wrapping Maddy's gifts last night while she was sleeping, I wrote on a tag:

To: Madelyn

From:  Mommy and Daddy
           We love you so much!

And then it hit me, as it has so many times in the past. 

I am a mom. 

There is a tiny human toddling around our home.  A little girl who demands the tree, garland and village lights be turned on every morning.  A little girl who will soon be spoiled with too many gifts from family.  A little girl I never thought would be a part of our lives.

It is so easy to get swept up in the day to day hustle and bustle of motherhood.  Then out of nowhere it hits me like a ton of bricks.  I stop in my tracks and take it all in.  She is here.  All those struggles with infertility and in spite of it all, she is here. 

Just the other day it happened when I tripped over a toy.  I bent down to pick it up and then stared in amazement.  There are baby toys in my house.  I have a baby.  Or when I'm folding her laundry, or packing a diaper bag, or watching the back of her head as she walks to the door.  These moments take my breath away.

Does it sound strange to still be shocked you're a mother 15 months after the birth of your child?  I wonder if it will every end. 

I kind of hope it doesn't.

Another Boring Post

A week before Thanksgiving we took Maddy to Disneyland.  I must say I had pretty low expectations taking a 14 month old.  I wasn't sure how long she'd last in the park, how napping would go, how she'd do in lines, etc.  I love my baby but she is not the easiest going.  I'm happy to say, we had a FANTASTIC time!  It was so much fun!  She was such a trooper on all the rides.  We took the poor thing on Haunted Mansion first.  She did well. She just buried her head in my neck when she was scared.  Then she'd look around a bit and bury her head again.  And what is with the Fantasyland rides being so scary?  There are barely any totally upbeat rides there.  I didn't realize it until I took a child there.  She loved "It's a Small World" the best.  She was clapping her hands at all the "dancing babies."  DH and I loved going to Disneyland just the two of us and it was even better with our daughter. 

Somewhere in between my last post and now she started walking.  It started slow and then one day she just decided she didn't need to crawl anymore.  She is such a tiny thing still.  She looks like a little doll walking around.  She had her 15 month appt last week and she finally made the 20 pound mark (exactly).  We are going to finally buy a "big-girl" carseat for her.  I have one all picked out that rear faces until 35 pounds.  So Maddy can rear face until Kindergarten at this rate and forward face until high school. 

She was a hot mess last week as her teeth as coming fast and furious.  We've got 6 teeth out and three molars partially broken through.  Plus countless others right below the surface.  That on top of getting a fever and rash from the MMR vaccine at her appt and it was not a good week.  She is finally feeling better.  Poor thing.

Still not a lot of words!  Everything is mama.  She points to everything and looks at me and says "mama?"  Then I tell her the name of it and she smiles and moves on the next thing.  The doctor was not concerned.  He just asked me if she understands language.  And she does.  She understands everything, almost to the point that DH and I might have to start spelling certain things so she doesn't get distracted or excited about something. 

I love her so much.  She is so much fun.  She has such a fiery, passionate personality and keeps us on our toes, but I can't imagine her any other way.  She is joy. 

Merry Christmas!

Time for an Update?

I need to blog more. 

I never filled out one baby book for Maddy.  I got three of them from my showers and I haven't wrote in a single one. 

At least I have my blog. . . as sparse as it is lately.

Maddy is 14 months old today.

Right after her 12 month appt, when I was concerned because she wasn't clapping or waving, she started doing both about two days later.  Now she claps all the time and waves hi and bye.  She claps when she's happy.  She claps if she likes the strawberries she's eating.  She claps and pats her legs in her attempt at rhythm when a favorite song comes on.  She claps when I come in to get her in the mornings. 

She's still not walking, although she has taken her first steps.  If you walk with her and get her some momentum, she can waddle one, two or three steps to someone else.  She still has not taken any on her own accord.  She is very content with crawling.

She's still not talking much.  Although she does have a great understanding of language.  If I start reciting one of her books (which I have memorized after countless readings), she will go and find it and bring it to me to read.  She can touch her nose and tummy.  She knows socks and shoes go on her feet and hats go on her head.   She says "mom" or "mama" for most things now.  Every once in a while I have heard her say "Ra-ra" for our dog Rudy.  She says "dad" sometimes and a "hi" or "bye" every once in a while.  Nothing consistent that I am confident she knows what she is saying.   

She is relying on other ways to communicate.  Just last night she hadn't ate much dinner and right before her bedtime she crawled over to her high chair, stood up and pointed to it.  I asked her if she was hungry and strapped her in.  I gave her her leftover dinner and some water.  She immediately started clapping. 

Halloween was so much more fun this year!  I have to put a comparison picture here.  Most pictures are on DH's iphone and I can't get them on my laptop when I need them.  It was much more pleasant not taking a screaming, colicky baby to the pumpkin patch. 

I think we're teething again. . . Naps are not consistent and she's been waking at night.  (She only has her top two and her bottom two. ) She just woke up after a 40 minute nap.  Ugh! 

Maybe this is why I don't blog anymore. . .

I'm going to be an aunt (again)!

DH's sister is pregnant!

She has been suffering from PCOS and has been gearing up for her first IUI after clomid and other drugs weren't cutting it.  She got lucky and it worked on the first try.  She announced last night that she is seven weeks preggers. 

We knew the exact date of her IUI procedure and when we didn't hear much from her and she avoided family gatherings, we figured the news was not good.  Fortunately we were wrong. 

It's amazing how much better I can handle pregnancy announcements now.  If this were three years ago, I'm sure no matter how happy I would have been for her, it still would have stung.  She was seeing our old RE, Dr. G.  He even called her himself to let her know the good news. 

Hoping for all the best and that Maddy gets to meet her next cousin this June!

Thank You Kindermusic. . .

. . .for Maddy's first cold of her life, my first cold of the season, a cold for both grandmas and a cold for her three month old cousin.  You really are the gift that keeps on giving.

Actually, it wasn't all that bad.  Everyone's colds were mild.  If it weren't for Maddy's runny nose, I wouldn't have known she was sick.  She was grumpy sure, but she's grumpy an awful lot so that alone wasn't a clue.  She ran a very mild fever one night.  And I am proud that she made it almost 13 months without getting sick.  Maybe all that breastfeeding paid off.

The music class is once a week and she loves it!  She loves the other babies more than the music.  She's super social and crawls over and kisses the other little girls.  Hence the cold I'm sure.  That and the shared musical toys.  Gross!  Last week's class had 12 kids . . this week's 3. 

Must have been a plague for sure.

She's Huge!

Not really of course.

But huge to me!

Maddy weighs 18 pounds, 8 ounces.  She has moved to the 10%!  Her length is the 21% and her head is the 48%.  So interesting dimensions to say the least- tiny with a normal sized head.

What is she doing at a year?

Walking:  Not unless she is holding on to something.  She's gutless- afraid to take those first steps alone.  Put her behind her push car or her baby doll stroller and she's all over the house.  She pulls up on everything but won't let go.  That girl does everything on her own schedule.

Talking:  Not really.  "Up", "Mama", maybe other words.  Not sure.  Not sure she even knows what she's saying are words.  She points to everything! She points and says, "ba!" or "da!" or badawa!" or any other combination of syllables.  I think she's a little behind in the talking department.

Social Skills:  She loves to play.  She scrolls through the songs on her keyboard, push car, stroller, block stacker (anything that plays music) until she finds her favorites.  Then she dances by shaking her butt up and down.  She still loves dolls. She actually plays with them.  She kisses and hugs them, covers them up with blankets, puts them in their little stroller and gives them a ride,  She did this all on her own with little encouragement from me.  She loves jewelry and shiny, girly things and I have to admit- I love it!  She still loves books.  She'll crawl over to me with a book in her hand and crawl up on my lap and wait for me to read it to her.  After two pages she'll crawl away, but hey, it's a start.

She does not however clap her hands together and she rarely waves.  They asked me that at the doctor's yesterday.  The nurse was filling out some form and she asked me about clapping.  I said no and she looked at me like I had two heads.  "She doesn't clap her hands?"  I said, "No.  She bangs toys together but she doesn't clap if she's happy."  I felt like a failure.  She does so many other things.  Should I care that she doesn't clap?  Damn!  These milestones are killing me.

Sleeping:  Great at night.  CIO was the best thing I ever did.  Ever.  Now if her teeth are bothering her she just whines at night and tosses and turns until she gets back to sleep.  I don't have to go in there.  Naps are becoming trickier.  I know she still needs two naps a day.  But lately she has trouble falling asleep in the morning, even though I know she's tired.  I let her try for an hour to get to sleep.  If she doesn't I get her up and we try again around noon.  On those days she only gets one nap.  Or other mornings she sleeps over two hours in the morning and then has trouble getting to sleep in the afternoon.  Those days are terrible- the days she misses her afternoon nap.  I hear they start transitioning to one nap in the next few months. 

When did your baby go from two naps to one?  What was your transition like?

A Picture Post (Finally)

Some pics from her first birthday, my brother's wedding (end of July) and a few randoms:

The Birthday Girl

(She mostly just massaged her cake and ate very little.  Needless to say her cake was nice and relaxed)

One of two outfits (too bad she didn't stand still long enough to see it)

A Princess Dress from DH's coworker. 

(One of her many presents.)

Getting ready for her uncle's wedding.

Maddy and Daddy

(one of my favorite pictures)

She sure loves books!  ("Go Dog Go!" is a favorite)

Having some fun in her new car.

 

Tomorrow's the Big Day!

Maddy turns one!

I have been in party planning mode all week. I taught Monday and Tuesday and have been running errands nonstop since Wednesday. Decorations, food, drinks. . .I am up to my neck in it all. It's not even a big gathering-just 15-20 adults and a handful of kids. Still. . .the planning.

I went with a festive, colorful theme instead of a pink princessy one. I love pink, but it didn't seem right for a bunch of adults. Maybe I'll save the girly theme for a party she'll remember with friends of her own.

I can't believe the day is almost here. I remember rocking her through her colic/reflux and thinking we'd never get there. How can the days go so slow and years fly?

Happy Birthday Madelyn!

Enjoy your last day as a baby.

We could not imagine life without you.

A Marathon Post

With a little bit of this and a little bit of that:

Our First Vacation
It went very well! We had a great week full of boating, swimming, skiing, drinking, eating and relaxing (okay, as much relaxing as you can do with an 11 month old). Maddy coped well with her change in routine and learned she had to nap when she could and not always in her crib. She napped at least once a day on the patio boat. This was amazing and so nice. The only glitch came on our way home. We were towing my dad's ski boat when our truck broke down 30 minutes from home. Everything just shut off on the freeway-no power steering, no power brakes, no nothing. Luckily DH got it on the shoulder and we called for a tow. My parents were following us so Maddy and I went with them while DH waited to be rescued. It could have been an even worse situation so I am grateful it wasn't.

Car Troubles
Bad news on the truck though. Looks like it will cost over $1000 to fix. The computer was totally fried. Ugh! Oh and to make matters worse, the Honda wouldn't start the other day- just turned over and died try after try. We have two out of three cars in the shop at the same time and the only one left is a two seater. You can do the math. We had to borrow DH's dad's car. All this and I have been without a paycheck since June. I'm counting down to my next one at the end of this month.

Venting
I have always been hesitant to speak negatively of DH on this blog. I'm not sure why. It's anonymous after all, but I just don't feel comfortable doing it. I think it is because he really is an amazing husband and I feel bad bagging on him. Well, anyway, I'm going to do it now because maybe some of you SAHMS are in the same boat. I work 50% of the school year- two days one week, three days the other. I also work 50% at home. That's the part DH doesn't get. I always hear "Well you only work PART time." whenever anything isn't done around the house or I ask for help with a specific errand or chore. The other day it came to a head when he called from work and I was frustrated because Maddy was not napping. I was in a pretty negative mood. He told me that it hurts him when I am not happy staying at home with Maddy. He said that he is working full time so I can have time at home and I am not even grateful. Then he says "Most moms love being with their babies and love being home with them." That pissed me off. Of course I LOVE my baby and LOVE the time I have with her! It is also HARD WORK and I should be able to share my frustrations. I don't think he realizes how much it hurts when he says those things. I don't like people criticizing me as a mother. He isn't happy with his job and he's jealous I get to stay home more. I give him two weeks and he'd be begging to go back full time! Unbelievable.

11 Month Update
Wow. Eleven months! Almost a year! Incredible. I need to post some recent pictures of her. She is more and more fun everyday. She has been very sensitive lately with other children. She gets her feelings hurt easily if they take a toy from her or bonk her while playing. She gets a real pouty lip and crawls over to me sobbing. She wraps her arms around me and buries her head in my neck and cries. It is so darn cute! I try to foster independence and let her know she is okay without too much coddling. She is becoming much more affectionate- hugs and kisses abound. I fear separation anxiety and stranger anxiety is right around the corner. We have been doing well without them, but I see hints of their arrival. She's such a little person now! I love her so much. We are having a Labor Day Weekend BBQ for her first b-day. I haven't done anything to prepare except send out invites. Any cute first b-day ideas?

I'm all caught up with your blogs and will start commenting again. . .

Packing Anxiety

Our first vacation with Maddy is a little less then two weeks away.

I am not ready.

I'm a little overwhelmed at the thought of packing for our adventure. I hate packing as it is. Throw a baby in the mix and it becomes really daunting. Therefore I am procrastinating.

We are staying in a cabin on a lake. We aren't isolated, but trips to any real store besides the marina mini-mart require a 30+ minute trip, so I want to be prepared. I keep asking myself, "How many diapers?" "How much formula?" "How much food?" "How many outfits?" "What kind of clothes?"

She has to sleep in our room in a pack and play. I'm not looking forward to that. She's a light sleeper, so I worry about waking her. She also cries out in her sleep, so I worry about her waking me. CIO sucks if you're stuck in the same room with them.

I found a cheap portable booster high chair to use there. Other than that and the pack and play, I'm not sure what other big items we need.

Any tricks, tips, advice for a week long getaway with an infant?

Paci Wars

Maddy loves baby dolls. She will purse her lips and kiss them on demand and on her own. Kissing is one of the sweetest things she does.

She has a doll that comes with a paci. Recently she has recognized it as such and pulls the paci out and tries to suck on it. Hard to do considering the nipple is no more than a nub of hard plastic. Just the same, she pulls it out of the doll's mouth and attempts to suck on it whenever she's playing in the toy bin.

Lately (because this is where your mind goes when you are stuck at home all summer playing with an infant) I've been making crying sounds when she takes it out of her doll's mouth. She looks strangely at the doll and I say, "Give the baby the paci. That's the baby's paci." Of course she doesn't give it to the baby. She usually just pushes it aside when she's done with it.

Today, when she tired of the doll's paci, I put it back in the doll's mouth. She watched me do this from across the room. Maddy then crawled over to the doll and ripped the paci from its mouth to put in her own. Later, when she was distracted, I gave the paci back to the doll. This time she didn't see me do it. As she's playing I see her glance at the doll. She stops what she's doing, crawls over to the doll, gives it a dirty look and once again rips the paci out. This became a very fun game for me, one which Maddy repeated multiple times. She would not allow her doll to have a paci which she felt belonged to her.

I guess we're going to have to work on sharing.

10 Months

Ever since nine months I have really noticed a movement from baby to toddler. Nine to twelve months is such a transition time. Pretty amazing.

Highlights:

Sleeping- You all know how that's going. . .

Eating- Loves finger foods (carrots, peas, green beans, toast w/cream cheese and butter, pasta, peaches, pears, cheerios, yogurt melts, puffs) Not so hip on pureed foods anymore but will eat them. I have to go shopping with her meals in mind. It's such a change. I offer her 4 six ounce bottles a day (one of these is usually breast milk, the rest formula). She usually ends up drinking anywhere between 18-22 oz a day. She eats three solid meals a day. All this and she's still tiny. That's just how she rolls.

Playing- She enjoys flipping through board books, especially the touch and feel kind. I know she needs more interactive toys now rather than those you chew on, but I have yet to fork out the money to go on a buying spree. Her first birthday is just around the corner and I'm hoping she gets some at her party.

Mobility- Yes! She officially crawls on all fours now. She pulls up on everything and cruises about. She's afraid to walk around any corners yet. So if she's pulled up on the changing table she has to sit down and crawl to get around to the other side. She also won't take any unassisted steps no matter how short the distance. She likes to be sure before she tries something.

She still has only two bottom teeth and she is not a big talker. We only hear mama and baba (not sure if this is her name for DH?) and that usually is only when she's tired. She's still working on waving and she'll only point if the object is very close to her. She does not clap. There are many things I'm looking forward to. This baby has her own agenda for sure.

CIO Update

It's going. . .

Let's see if I can remember.

Night 4- 26 minutes
Night 5- 10 minutes (woke up in the middle of the night for 50 minutes)
Night 6- 10 minutes
Night 7- 5 minutes

So nights are better. Naps SUCK! I think it has more to do with the teething and less to do with the new routine. She is now averaging about 10-20 minutes for naps but they are SO short! There were three days in a row where she only napped twice for 40 minutes each. Not enough sleep for sure. I can see her top front gums are swollen and red so I am really hoping it's any day now.

All in all, I'm glad we decided to change it up with her and go this route. I know it will be well worth it.

It already is.

CIO Night 3

Does this shit really work?

What is wrong with my daughter? Why does she have to be the most passionate, stubborn child on the planet? Thankfully her mother is a teacher and knows how to put her foot down, but geesh!

Last night she found a way to stand up again and screamed BLOODY MURDER at bed time. I'm not kidding. BLOODY MURDER. I had no choice but to laugh out loud at her antics. I could see her humongous mouth wide open eyes squinted shut profile on the monitor. I mean really, what choice did I have but to laugh? It isn't a torture chamber. It's just a crib and it's time to sleep. GIVE IT UP ALREADY! She finally fell down from standing and eventually fell asleep after about 40 minutes-up from 26 the night before. She slept straight through until 6 am but I knew she needed more sleep. I let her try to get back to sleep until 6:45 to no avail. So she started the day tired and grumpy. Joy.

Naps have been harder then nights. Just this morning she screamed for 40 minutes. Her paci had fallen out of the crib after the first 20 minutes. I was so tired of listening to it. I ran in threw a paci in the crib and ran out. This calmed her. I then watched her fall asleep sitting up and slump over.

She's on to us and isn't going to give in without a fight.

Laying down is for the weak.

It is getting worse before it gets better.

I am doubting it will get better. . .