As I was wrapping Maddy's gifts last night while she was sleeping, I wrote on a tag:
To: Madelyn
From: Mommy and Daddy
We love you so much!
And then it hit me, as it has so many times in the past.
I am a mom.
There is a tiny human toddling around our home. A little girl who demands the tree, garland and village lights be turned on every morning. A little girl who will soon be spoiled with too many gifts from family. A little girl I never thought would be a part of our lives.
It is so easy to get swept up in the day to day hustle and bustle of motherhood. Then out of nowhere it hits me like a ton of bricks. I stop in my tracks and take it all in. She is here. All those struggles with infertility and in spite of it all, she is here.
Just the other day it happened when I tripped over a toy. I bent down to pick it up and then stared in amazement. There are baby toys in my house. I have a baby. Or when I'm folding her laundry, or packing a diaper bag, or watching the back of her head as she walks to the door. These moments take my breath away.
Does it sound strange to still be shocked you're a mother 15 months after the birth of your child? I wonder if it will every end.
I kind of hope it doesn't.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Another Boring Post
A week before Thanksgiving we took Maddy to Disneyland. I must say I had pretty low expectations taking a 14 month old. I wasn't sure how long she'd last in the park, how napping would go, how she'd do in lines, etc. I love my baby but she is not the easiest going. I'm happy to say, we had a FANTASTIC time! It was so much fun! She was such a trooper on all the rides. We took the poor thing on Haunted Mansion first. She did well. She just buried her head in my neck when she was scared. Then she'd look around a bit and bury her head again. And what is with the Fantasyland rides being so scary? There are barely any totally upbeat rides there. I didn't realize it until I took a child there. She loved "It's a Small World" the best. She was clapping her hands at all the "dancing babies." DH and I loved going to Disneyland just the two of us and it was even better with our daughter.
Somewhere in between my last post and now she started walking. It started slow and then one day she just decided she didn't need to crawl anymore. She is such a tiny thing still. She looks like a little doll walking around. She had her 15 month appt last week and she finally made the 20 pound mark (exactly). We are going to finally buy a "big-girl" carseat for her. I have one all picked out that rear faces until 35 pounds. So Maddy can rear face until Kindergarten at this rate and forward face until high school.
She was a hot mess last week as her teeth as coming fast and furious. We've got 6 teeth out and three molars partially broken through. Plus countless others right below the surface. That on top of getting a fever and rash from the MMR vaccine at her appt and it was not a good week. She is finally feeling better. Poor thing.
Still not a lot of words! Everything is mama. She points to everything and looks at me and says "mama?" Then I tell her the name of it and she smiles and moves on the next thing. The doctor was not concerned. He just asked me if she understands language. And she does. She understands everything, almost to the point that DH and I might have to start spelling certain things so she doesn't get distracted or excited about something.
I love her so much. She is so much fun. She has such a fiery, passionate personality and keeps us on our toes, but I can't imagine her any other way. She is joy.
Merry Christmas!
Somewhere in between my last post and now she started walking. It started slow and then one day she just decided she didn't need to crawl anymore. She is such a tiny thing still. She looks like a little doll walking around. She had her 15 month appt last week and she finally made the 20 pound mark (exactly). We are going to finally buy a "big-girl" carseat for her. I have one all picked out that rear faces until 35 pounds. So Maddy can rear face until Kindergarten at this rate and forward face until high school.
She was a hot mess last week as her teeth as coming fast and furious. We've got 6 teeth out and three molars partially broken through. Plus countless others right below the surface. That on top of getting a fever and rash from the MMR vaccine at her appt and it was not a good week. She is finally feeling better. Poor thing.
Still not a lot of words! Everything is mama. She points to everything and looks at me and says "mama?" Then I tell her the name of it and she smiles and moves on the next thing. The doctor was not concerned. He just asked me if she understands language. And she does. She understands everything, almost to the point that DH and I might have to start spelling certain things so she doesn't get distracted or excited about something.
I love her so much. She is so much fun. She has such a fiery, passionate personality and keeps us on our toes, but I can't imagine her any other way. She is joy.
Merry Christmas!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Time for an Update?
I need to blog more.
I never filled out one baby book for Maddy. I got three of them from my showers and I haven't wrote in a single one.
At least I have my blog. . . as sparse as it is lately.
Maddy is 14 months old today.
Right after her 12 month appt, when I was concerned because she wasn't clapping or waving, she started doing both about two days later. Now she claps all the time and waves hi and bye. She claps when she's happy. She claps if she likes the strawberries she's eating. She claps and pats her legs in her attempt at rhythm when a favorite song comes on. She claps when I come in to get her in the mornings.
She's still not walking, although she has taken her first steps. If you walk with her and get her some momentum, she can waddle one, two or three steps to someone else. She still has not taken any on her own accord. She is very content with crawling.
She's still not talking much. Although she does have a great understanding of language. If I start reciting one of her books (which I have memorized after countless readings), she will go and find it and bring it to me to read. She can touch her nose and tummy. She knows socks and shoes go on her feet and hats go on her head. She says "mom" or "mama" for most things now. Every once in a while I have heard her say "Ra-ra" for our dog Rudy. She says "dad" sometimes and a "hi" or "bye" every once in a while. Nothing consistent that I am confident she knows what she is saying.
She is relying on other ways to communicate. Just last night she hadn't ate much dinner and right before her bedtime she crawled over to her high chair, stood up and pointed to it. I asked her if she was hungry and strapped her in. I gave her her leftover dinner and some water. She immediately started clapping.
Halloween was so much more fun this year! I have to put a comparison picture here. Most pictures are on DH's iphone and I can't get them on my laptop when I need them. It was much more pleasant not taking a screaming, colicky baby to the pumpkin patch.
I think we're teething again. . . Naps are not consistent and she's been waking at night. (She only has her top two and her bottom two. ) She just woke up after a 40 minute nap. Ugh!
Maybe this is why I don't blog anymore. . .
I never filled out one baby book for Maddy. I got three of them from my showers and I haven't wrote in a single one.
At least I have my blog. . . as sparse as it is lately.
Maddy is 14 months old today.
Right after her 12 month appt, when I was concerned because she wasn't clapping or waving, she started doing both about two days later. Now she claps all the time and waves hi and bye. She claps when she's happy. She claps if she likes the strawberries she's eating. She claps and pats her legs in her attempt at rhythm when a favorite song comes on. She claps when I come in to get her in the mornings.
She's still not walking, although she has taken her first steps. If you walk with her and get her some momentum, she can waddle one, two or three steps to someone else. She still has not taken any on her own accord. She is very content with crawling.
She's still not talking much. Although she does have a great understanding of language. If I start reciting one of her books (which I have memorized after countless readings), she will go and find it and bring it to me to read. She can touch her nose and tummy. She knows socks and shoes go on her feet and hats go on her head. She says "mom" or "mama" for most things now. Every once in a while I have heard her say "Ra-ra" for our dog Rudy. She says "dad" sometimes and a "hi" or "bye" every once in a while. Nothing consistent that I am confident she knows what she is saying.
She is relying on other ways to communicate. Just last night she hadn't ate much dinner and right before her bedtime she crawled over to her high chair, stood up and pointed to it. I asked her if she was hungry and strapped her in. I gave her her leftover dinner and some water. She immediately started clapping.
Halloween was so much more fun this year! I have to put a comparison picture here. Most pictures are on DH's iphone and I can't get them on my laptop when I need them. It was much more pleasant not taking a screaming, colicky baby to the pumpkin patch.
I think we're teething again. . . Naps are not consistent and she's been waking at night. (She only has her top two and her bottom two. ) She just woke up after a 40 minute nap. Ugh!
Maybe this is why I don't blog anymore. . .
Saturday, October 16, 2010
I'm going to be an aunt (again)!
DH's sister is pregnant!
She has been suffering from PCOS and has been gearing up for her first IUI after clomid and other drugs weren't cutting it. She got lucky and it worked on the first try. She announced last night that she is seven weeks preggers.
We knew the exact date of her IUI procedure and when we didn't hear much from her and she avoided family gatherings, we figured the news was not good. Fortunately we were wrong.
It's amazing how much better I can handle pregnancy announcements now. If this were three years ago, I'm sure no matter how happy I would have been for her, it still would have stung. She was seeing our old RE, Dr. G. He even called her himself to let her know the good news.
Hoping for all the best and that Maddy gets to meet her next cousin this June!
She has been suffering from PCOS and has been gearing up for her first IUI after clomid and other drugs weren't cutting it. She got lucky and it worked on the first try. She announced last night that she is seven weeks preggers.
We knew the exact date of her IUI procedure and when we didn't hear much from her and she avoided family gatherings, we figured the news was not good. Fortunately we were wrong.
It's amazing how much better I can handle pregnancy announcements now. If this were three years ago, I'm sure no matter how happy I would have been for her, it still would have stung. She was seeing our old RE, Dr. G. He even called her himself to let her know the good news.
Hoping for all the best and that Maddy gets to meet her next cousin this June!
Friday, October 1, 2010
Thank You Kindermusic. . .
. . .for Maddy's first cold of her life, my first cold of the season, a cold for both grandmas and a cold for her three month old cousin. You really are the gift that keeps on giving.
Actually, it wasn't all that bad. Everyone's colds were mild. If it weren't for Maddy's runny nose, I wouldn't have known she was sick. She was grumpy sure, but she's grumpy an awful lot so that alone wasn't a clue. She ran a very mild fever one night. And I am proud that she made it almost 13 months without getting sick. Maybe all that breastfeeding paid off.
The music class is once a week and she loves it! She loves the other babies more than the music. She's super social and crawls over and kisses the other little girls. Hence the cold I'm sure. That and the shared musical toys. Gross! Last week's class had 12 kids . . this week's 3.
Must have been a plague for sure.
Actually, it wasn't all that bad. Everyone's colds were mild. If it weren't for Maddy's runny nose, I wouldn't have known she was sick. She was grumpy sure, but she's grumpy an awful lot so that alone wasn't a clue. She ran a very mild fever one night. And I am proud that she made it almost 13 months without getting sick. Maybe all that breastfeeding paid off.
The music class is once a week and she loves it! She loves the other babies more than the music. She's super social and crawls over and kisses the other little girls. Hence the cold I'm sure. That and the shared musical toys. Gross! Last week's class had 12 kids . . this week's 3.
Must have been a plague for sure.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
She's Huge!
Not really of course.
But huge to me!
Maddy weighs 18 pounds, 8 ounces. She has moved to the 10%! Her length is the 21% and her head is the 48%. So interesting dimensions to say the least- tiny with a normal sized head.
What is she doing at a year?
Walking: Not unless she is holding on to something. She's gutless- afraid to take those first steps alone. Put her behind her push car or her baby doll stroller and she's all over the house. She pulls up on everything but won't let go. That girl does everything on her own schedule.
Talking: Not really. "Up", "Mama", maybe other words. Not sure. Not sure she even knows what she's saying are words. She points to everything! She points and says, "ba!" or "da!" or badawa!" or any other combination of syllables. I think she's a little behind in the talking department.
Social Skills: She loves to play. She scrolls through the songs on her keyboard, push car, stroller, block stacker (anything that plays music) until she finds her favorites. Then she dances by shaking her butt up and down. She still loves dolls. She actually plays with them. She kisses and hugs them, covers them up with blankets, puts them in their little stroller and gives them a ride, She did this all on her own with little encouragement from me. She loves jewelry and shiny, girly things and I have to admit- I love it! She still loves books. She'll crawl over to me with a book in her hand and crawl up on my lap and wait for me to read it to her. After two pages she'll crawl away, but hey, it's a start.
She does not however clap her hands together and she rarely waves. They asked me that at the doctor's yesterday. The nurse was filling out some form and she asked me about clapping. I said no and she looked at me like I had two heads. "She doesn't clap her hands?" I said, "No. She bangs toys together but she doesn't clap if she's happy." I felt like a failure. She does so many other things. Should I care that she doesn't clap? Damn! These milestones are killing me.
Sleeping: Great at night. CIO was the best thing I ever did. Ever. Now if her teeth are bothering her she just whines at night and tosses and turns until she gets back to sleep. I don't have to go in there. Naps are becoming trickier. I know she still needs two naps a day. But lately she has trouble falling asleep in the morning, even though I know she's tired. I let her try for an hour to get to sleep. If she doesn't I get her up and we try again around noon. On those days she only gets one nap. Or other mornings she sleeps over two hours in the morning and then has trouble getting to sleep in the afternoon. Those days are terrible- the days she misses her afternoon nap. I hear they start transitioning to one nap in the next few months.
When did your baby go from two naps to one? What was your transition like?
But huge to me!
Maddy weighs 18 pounds, 8 ounces. She has moved to the 10%! Her length is the 21% and her head is the 48%. So interesting dimensions to say the least- tiny with a normal sized head.
What is she doing at a year?
Walking: Not unless she is holding on to something. She's gutless- afraid to take those first steps alone. Put her behind her push car or her baby doll stroller and she's all over the house. She pulls up on everything but won't let go. That girl does everything on her own schedule.
Talking: Not really. "Up", "Mama", maybe other words. Not sure. Not sure she even knows what she's saying are words. She points to everything! She points and says, "ba!" or "da!" or badawa!" or any other combination of syllables. I think she's a little behind in the talking department.
Social Skills: She loves to play. She scrolls through the songs on her keyboard, push car, stroller, block stacker (anything that plays music) until she finds her favorites. Then she dances by shaking her butt up and down. She still loves dolls. She actually plays with them. She kisses and hugs them, covers them up with blankets, puts them in their little stroller and gives them a ride, She did this all on her own with little encouragement from me. She loves jewelry and shiny, girly things and I have to admit- I love it! She still loves books. She'll crawl over to me with a book in her hand and crawl up on my lap and wait for me to read it to her. After two pages she'll crawl away, but hey, it's a start.
She does not however clap her hands together and she rarely waves. They asked me that at the doctor's yesterday. The nurse was filling out some form and she asked me about clapping. I said no and she looked at me like I had two heads. "She doesn't clap her hands?" I said, "No. She bangs toys together but she doesn't clap if she's happy." I felt like a failure. She does so many other things. Should I care that she doesn't clap? Damn! These milestones are killing me.
Sleeping: Great at night. CIO was the best thing I ever did. Ever. Now if her teeth are bothering her she just whines at night and tosses and turns until she gets back to sleep. I don't have to go in there. Naps are becoming trickier. I know she still needs two naps a day. But lately she has trouble falling asleep in the morning, even though I know she's tired. I let her try for an hour to get to sleep. If she doesn't I get her up and we try again around noon. On those days she only gets one nap. Or other mornings she sleeps over two hours in the morning and then has trouble getting to sleep in the afternoon. Those days are terrible- the days she misses her afternoon nap. I hear they start transitioning to one nap in the next few months.
When did your baby go from two naps to one? What was your transition like?
Saturday, September 11, 2010
A Picture Post (Finally)
Some pics from her first birthday, my brother's wedding (end of July) and a few randoms:
The Birthday Girl
(She mostly just massaged her cake and ate very little. Needless to say her cake was nice and relaxed)
One of two outfits (too bad she didn't stand still long enough to see it)
A Princess Dress from DH's coworker.
(One of her many presents.)
Getting ready for her uncle's wedding.
Maddy and Daddy
(one of my favorite pictures)
She sure loves books! ("Go Dog Go!" is a favorite)
Having some fun in her new car.
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